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Do you struggle with no time to get anything done?

Take a pause break and listen to an oldie but goodie song from the 60’s that captures one band’s perspective on this age-old problem.

Before they start life coaching, many of my clients identify their lack of time as the biggest reason for not meeting their goals.  They explain that they just need to have extra time to become successful and happy.  Just recently, during a coaching session with one of my executive coaching clients, he admitted that he works 60-65 hours a week and wants to achieve work-life balance and do the things he wants to do.  I asked, “What would happen if you fewer less hours?  Would your job still get done?”  He answered that it would.  So, I continued to ask:  “So, what is preventing you from working fewer hours?”  He replied, “me.” Before he could move forward on his goals, he needed to discover the root cause of what was really going on.

Up to now, my client had been thriving.  He had been extremely successful and never questioned the hours he worked.  So, what changed?  Understanding this process and what shifted as he began to question his current work style and consider other options was important to evaluate because this was influencing his current behavior.  Only when you drill down and begin to understand what motivates your actions, what triggers your responses, and what drives you will you be able to get back in the driver’s seat and choose how to respond.

It is too easy to let life just happen.  Remember, you can’t change the people around you, or affect the weather, or control the world.  All you can do is choose how to respond.  Yet, in order to do so effectively, you will need to understand what is going on underneath the surface.  Root cause analysis doesn’t have to feel like a root canal.  Working with a coach can easily help you identify what’s going on.  Once you bubble up what’s really going on up to the surface, you can look at it, review it, and then choose what comes next.  Otherwise, all the actions in the world will be forced and will be met with internal resistance because you will naturally sabotage your efforts.  When this happens, you have 2 choices:  blame it on external events, or reflect on what’s really going on inside.

After working for many years with coaching clients, I have discovered that if it’s a priority, it will get done.  So, the key is to truly identify your real priorities.  The ones that are really driving you and not the ones that you believe you are expected to do.  How do you drill down to your top priorities and claim them as your true heart’s desire?  The first step is to be honest with yourself.  It is important to understand how you got to this place.  You may have traveled a short time on this road, or have been derailed from your original route.  With coaching, you can get the support you need, as well as the objectivity to help you clarify your long-term vision that best fits you and helps you leverage your natural talents and experience to date.

The most successful people hire coaches.  Success and happiness can’t be achieved with a hit-or-miss approach.  You need to be laser focused on your highest priorities.

Using the 80/20 Principle, 20% of your critical priorities will yield 80% of your results. The question is how to identify your highest priorities? If you haven’t developed a personal strategic plan, it will be challenging to start this process without support.

Is it worth investing in you?  Try a free life or career coaching consultation with Wanda Ropa, your success coach, to get you started and get clear about where you’re going with your career, or with your life so you can develop a strategic plan that really works for you.  With clarity, success becomes a natural outcome.

At Feroce coaching, we know it’s about fit.  That’s why, you get two free coaching consultations (risk-free) to explore if coaching is for you.

Posted by Wanda Ropa, The Success Coach.

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Go further than you may think you can. “I’ve always believed no matter how many shots I miss, I’m going to make the next one.” One big problem with success is that you may want it right now. Or at least very soon. No wonder, advertising continually bombards us with messages of how we can become thin or rich in just 30 days. And people often want to believe in that. Now, I’m not saying that a lot of the stuff out there doesn’t work. They probably do work. I’m just saying that it may take more time, patience and work than advertised to get you where you want to go.

It’s useful to take a break from advertised perspectives and let more realistic perspectives seep into your mind. Learn from people who have gone where you want to go. Talk to them. Read what they have to say in books or online. This will not give a complete plan but a clearer perspective of what is needed to achieve what you want. And then you plug away. You don’t let setbacks or failure discourage you. You go out and try again. And just when you feel like giving up you go on a little further. And a little further. Because it’s often darkest before the dawn.

Learn more about life coach LaVonne Dorsey.

Henrik Edberg, Jonathan Swift’s Top 7 Words of Wisdom August 3, 2010, The Power of Positivity http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/power-of-positivity/

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Whether you are looking for a mate or you are in a relationship that may need some refinement to thrive, spending quality time focused solely on you, and taking a holistic approach to your life makes all the difference!

For those seeking to find that special someone, or to enhance a current, committed relationship, it is so important to enhance communication, understanding and intimacy. However, if you are stuck in anger, resentment, past hurts and the like, this may not be such an easy task.

You may have noticed that you always attract the same type of person. They seem a “perfect match” at first but then the same old patterns plague your relationship and you end up feeling disillusioned, disappointed and needing to leave for the presumed “greener pastures.”

What is a “holistic approach”? It is life coaching in which we are not just focused on one aspect of you, but on all of you (mind, body, emotions, spirit and practical life management). There are fantastic mind-body tools to really make a difference in eliminating internal challenges that may be keeping you stuck in repetitive negative patterns.

Some of these tools include neuro-linguistic programming and the emotional freedom technique, Silva Mind Control, guided visualization, and self-hypnosis. Together with focused life coaching and self-compassion, you more quickly free yourself of past resentments, and the emotional baggage which often plagues many relationships.

Many people are searching for that perfect match and they believe that once they find him or her, all of a sudden life will be all better (i.e., happily ever after).

Most people inherently realize this isn’t possible and that “happily ever after” is from fairy tales. But it seems that wishful thinking and hoping it is true never really leaves any of us.

The truth is that finding and keeping successful relationships is much more about BE-ing the “right” person yourself. From that state of being your best you, you become far more attractive to those people you would most want in your life. You will find you are attracting a different type of person – one who is better able to appreciate who you are because you are better appreciating yourself!

Concentrate on developing the inner you – your BE-ingness. When you flourish on the inside, with or without a mate you become much more attractive. In a way you are creating a magnetic energetic field of attraction of those people and opportunities you want to bring into your life. When your focus is turned inward to improving who you are, those whom you want to attract will find their way to you much more easily and readily.

The first goal in life coaching is to create a life you love – to live your life’s purpose, values, and to find real meaning, confidence and joy. If you are to be a good partner to your mate or to attract a partner then taking an inward focus and spending time really getting to know, love and appreciate yourself – to release the past, forgive yourself and others and to truly “come home” to yourself.

A gardener weeds and fertilizes nurtures and tends to his or her garden with love, patience and caring. Even the loveliest of gardens have weeds popping up and require maintenance. A good and intuitive gardener pays close attention – notices changes and potential problems and is pro-active in prevention.

Gardening is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. A relationship – a good relationship with you – requires the same kind of ongoing “gardening”.

In many instances communication, or miscommunication and unrealistic expectations are 90% of the problem in relationships. Much of this miscommunication and these unrealistic expectations come from depending on your partner to fill all your needs and to make you happy. This puts an overwhelming strain (albeit unexpressed, but felt anyway) on your partner and the relationship.

In life coaching you will really “come home” to yourself. You will learn what really makes your life flow and fulfill your own personal needs so that when you do meet a special someone, or if you are in a committed relationship, you are a far better partner. You stop expecting the unreasonable. You begin taking responsibility for your own happiness and in co-creating joy with your partner, or potential life mate.

Some people consider life coaching a luxury. Truly life coaching is an incredible gift you can give yourself such that you create a life you love – a happier, more fulfilled you! After all, the best relationship is the one you have with yourself. If that isn’t good it is awfully difficult for a relationship with a partner to remain and thrive.

Read what some of my clients have to say about life coach Dr. Christina Winsey, Life and Relationship Coach

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For me, a life coach, the phrase self-discipline conjures up images of being strict, tough and perhaps even rigid to force myself to get things done. For the purposes of this article I use the phrase to describe the way we regulate and direct ourselves.  What self-discipline looks like to you may not be what it looks like to me.

How we do things is a deeply personal expression of our wants, needs, intentions, self-care, strengths, responsibility, beliefs and values, an outward reflection of what is important for us. I think of self-discipline as a continual recalibration and adjustment of what’s important in my life. All of us struggle with doing what needs to be done versus doing what we desire. None of us is immune from distraction. We live in an age of distractions that tempt us from good habits and intentions. How comfortable are you with your ability to balance competing needs and desires in your day?

Self-discipline is a balancing act. We are a collection of values, motivations, intentions, fears, potential, abilities, quirks, strengths and stories we tell ourselves. How all of this translates into self-discipline depends upon how aligned we are with our goals and how we balance priorities day to day. The balance you strike is reflective of your personal style of self-regulation. Are you happy with the way you balance your life or do you tend to let things slide a long time before you notice things are out of whack?

One thing I notice about people who are content with their ability to regulate themselves is that they are aware of their priorities, they are clear about them, they take responsibility for them, they take time to focus on them and they have a way of balancing competing demands on their time. My intention isn’t to judge or tell you that you should be more efficient, just be aware of how you feel about what you do in a day and notice if it works for you.

As self-discipline is so deeply personal, let me tell you about what I do and don’t do well. I learned some of my self-discipline from my mother, who has a lot of good habits and pushes through her resistance like a bull. Although I developed some good habits, I am not a creature of habit. I tend to do things as I feel like them. When I exercise good self-regulation, this feels good. When I’m not, the train slips off the rails pretty quickly. I tend to put off things like paperwork, collecting overdue accounts or cleaning. I have to face the fact that I may never ever feel like doing paperwork or making difficult calls.

I put these things on a weekly list of action steps related to my goals. I want to be financially responsible and have a neat house. So even when I don’t feel like doing paperwork, it goes into the hopper and usually gets done in the course of a week. When I face resistance to doing something onerous like doing my taxes I break it down into small achievable steps like sorting receipts, invoices and bank statements. I do my best to make it feel like something I want to do by listening to music, having a cup of coffee and having a time limit to get it done.

As I write this article I am aware of the tug of many distractions: checking email; wanting to have a cup of coffee; wanting to get up and stretch; feeling my neck is sore. Sometimes it’s tough to focus on my intentions.  If I am not responsible and I don’t hold myself accountable, I find myself emptying the dishwasher instead of doing what I intend, which is to sit and finish this article. The tug of distraction eventually proves irresistible so I use it as a way of taking a break and even rewarding myself for having applied myself and resisted distraction as long as I could. So let me tell you how I regulate myself …

I understand self-discipline as the practice of noticing what’s going on in my life, identifying and clarifying my priorities (my weekly list), balancing and making adjustments as I go along.  The best metaphor I can think of is it’s like driving a car. Imagine looking over my shoulder while I drive: I have a goal or an intention (to go somewhere), I get in the car and make myself comfortable, I check conditions, make adjustments, scan the road and set off.

While I am driving, I continually check the mirrors, stay focused, adjust my speed and watch for other drivers, all while keeping my eye on the road.  Not only am I interacting with other vehicles and responding to them, I am tempted by distractions and aware of other things I want to do. If I avoid distractions and stick to my intentions I will make it to my destination without turning into a fast food place or sending a text message while driving.

When I face a challenge, I take a deep breath then I check in with myself and notice what happens. I feel things moving around. What I notice is a dynamic balancing as I mentally move around priorities and make things fit together again. I might do this dozens of times a day, whenever I have to switch from one activity to another, to make sure I’m applying myself in the way I intend. I think of my brain as having a shifter. When I complete a task my brain is always asking, “what’s next?” The question, ‘what’s next’ is the shifter.

As long as I have a clear idea of my priorities and stick to them, shifting from one priority to another is effortless and clear. When that happens, I have a productive day and feel satisfied. When I am unclear about what’s next, I become prone to distraction. I’m prey to procrastination until I feel I know what’s next. This is where my list of action steps helps me figure a way out. Spending too much time in distraction mode gives me that sweetly sick empty feeling I had when I was a kid when I ate too much candy. That’s when I know it’s time to get back to doing something more satisfying.

I noticed that many distractions came up for me while writing this article because I found it difficult to wrap my head around this topic, making distraction and avoidance almost welcome. Now that the piece is almost finished I am beginning to feel a sense of accomplishment, empowerment and satisfaction. It takes focus, determination and persistence to push through resistance and avoidance. After all, I’m the only one who cares whether I write this article.

Let me leave you with one more element of self-discipline – self-care. I think it’s important to be responsible and balance my goals because it’s a way of caring for myself. If I don’t care enough about myself to do what I say I want then who will do them for me? I am constantly balancing self care with care for others. Think of a spectrum that ranges from selfish (extreme self care) to being in the service of others (an absence of self care).  I balance my needs, wants and desires, but not at the expense of others I care about. It takes discipline and self-awareness to strike a balance that’s right for you. I can care for others but not at my own expense. It’s a balancing act. It’s about you.

I think I’ll make some coffee and empty that dishwasher now…

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October 8, 2010

This week I found myself having to do something as a lawyer, that I tell clients, as an attorney coach, to do all of the time.  I argued before the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals – in front of a lively panel.  Who knows if we won?  But, after living it and listening to it again, I feel like I did sound prepared and that I knew the law well.  So, I shared the experience with my clients and contacts – as an interesting experience in the litigation world!  Hopefully, they’ll appreciate me passing it along, and think of me when they face an issue like this! 

Pass along your good works!

http://www.ca9.uscourts.gov/media/view_subpage.php?pk_id=0000006200

My portion begins at 14:00 minutes.

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Successful Lawyer Marketing:  Get a New Client or New Work By Capitalizing on Something You Already Do

Too good to be true.  Not at all.  Truth is, this is the first tip in a series of things that all of us do – but don’t take advantage of it.  These are things that we do for work, or for fun, but not in order to develop business.  The nice thing about this series of tips is that it is not adding on extra work, and is really taking advantage of things we like to do (or have to and can’t stop).  So, start turning the everyday into a new client or more work.

Most of us either read the newspaper or get our news online.  Either way, we’re checking out what is going on around the world.  When we read the paper, we usually think about people important to us – maybe when we check the weather or see an article about our friend’s favorite travel spot.  What does this have to do with business development?  You just have to think about your clients too!  You might run across an article that would really affect your client’s business.  Or, if you have a closer relationship, you might see an article about your client’s favorite band coming to town.  When you start thinking about this –as you’re doing something that you’d do anyway – you will be surprised by how many things about a lot of your clients and contacts come to you.   

Of course, the  next step is the most important.  Communicating with the client or contact.  Effective lawyer marketing occurs when the recipient does not know that you are marketing.  So, the way you go about it is extremely important (and we coach lawyers on how to make it work).  But, the bottom line is that, if you do it right, your clients and contacts know that you are thinking about them and their success – personal and business.  Now, if you were going to hire a lawyer, wouldn’t you be more apt to hire the attorney that is concerned about your business without being paid for it.  It is a sign of a true business partner and what effective lawyer marketing is all about.

We assist lawyers to build and grow their businesses every day.  Try it out.  Please give us a call for your free consultation today.  www.ferocecoaching.com/contact.

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Physical Energy….Do You Have Enough Fuel?

On the surface it doesn’t seem to make sense why a person who sits at a desk most of the day working on a computer or on office papers would need to be as fit as someone who does a more physically demanding job like working on a farm. Performance physcologist Jim Loehr has a good explanation in his book The Power of Full Engagement”. “The importance of physical energy seems obvious for athletes, construction workers, and farmers. Because the rest of us are evaluated more by what we do with our minds than with our bodies, we tend to discount the role that physical energy plays in performance. In most jobs, the physical body has been completely cut off from the performance equation. “In reality, physical energy is the most fundamental source of fuel, even if our work is almost completely sedentary. It not only lies at the heart of alertness and vitality but also affects our ability to manage our emotions, sustain concentration, think creatively, and even maintain our commitment to whatever mission we are on. Leaders and managers make a fundamental mistake when they assume that they can overlook the physical dimension of energy and still expect those who work for them to perform at their best

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Healthy Tips About Sugar from Weight and Health Coach

If you are Trying to Avoid Too Much Sugar then You will Want to Know that it Ends Up in Many Foods and You Don’t Even Realize Because You Didn’t Know it Was Sugar

The sugar class of molecules consist of carbon, oxygen, and hydrogen arranged in a ringed structure. Carbohydrates (a “macronutrient” category of foods) is the group sugar belongs to.  Other carbohydrates include starches, (You know, that piece of cake you had?  Bread, pasta, but even bananas, fruits, potatoes and grains).  Still others are celluloses, and gums produced only by photosynthetic plants.

What do we mean by “macronutrient”?  Carbohydrates are large molecules made up of lots of smaller “building blocks” in the form of simple sugars.  Put enough simple sugars together in a chain or group and you get a carbohydrate. Simple sugars are an essential structural component of living cells and the source of energy for all animals, including humans. They are easily broken down for the body to use to make something called ATP (the energy molecule).

So why should we avoid too much sugar?  That will be in my next blog so definitely come back to read more.  Suffice it to say that sugar, in its white, processed form of sucrose is highly addictive and has more adverse side effects than raising blood sugar and adding empty calories that put on weight.  For now, realize that sugar has many names and forms. It is also necessary in the diet. The brain depends on it. So does our level of energy. Unfortunately, mankind is now inundated with the wrong kinds of sugar, as evidenced by skyrocketing heart disease, diabetes, and obesity.  So know your sugars.  Let’s first learn the different names.  There are dozens of different kinds of sugar under a variety of names:

  • barley malt
  • brown sugar
  • cane sugar
  • corn syrup
  • dextrose
  • fructose
  • fruit sugar
  • glucose
  • high-fructose corn syrup
  • honey
  • icing sugar
  • invert sugar
  • jaggary
  • lactose
  • maltose
  • maple syrup
  • molasses
  • powdered sugar
  • raw sugar
  • rice syrup
  • saccharinose
  • sucrose
  • sugar beets
  • turbinados
  • and more….

So now you know what to look for when shopping.  Next we will learn more about why sugar (simple sugar) is stay tuned for my next installment about the addictive nature of sugar…

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Executive, Career and Life Coach

Dare to dream and act on that dream. Do it in spite of problems and circumstances and obstacles. History is filled with men and women who faced adversity and acheived success in spite of it.

Oliver Wendell Holmes noted “The great thing in this world is not so much where we are but in what direction we are moving.” This is also one of the great things about having a dream. You can pursue your dream no matter where you are today. And what happened in the past isn’t as important as what lies ahead in the future. As the saying goes, “No matter what a person’s past may have been, his future is spotless.” You can begin pursuing your dream today!

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