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More
examples of breakthrough coaching . . .
Beth Gives
Herself Permission to Reconsider Old Loves
Janice
Tries on a Thought Experiment to Identify What Keeps Her
From Leaving the Firm
Bill Can't Get
Motivated to Meet His Goal -- Studying for his
Ph.D.
Rita Gets Help Very
Different From What She Expected
Karen's Story of
Gaining the Self-Esteem to Learn New Things and Plan Her
Future
Coaching with
Intuition
Afterword - Applause
for Clients
Janice Tries on a Thought Experiment to
Identify What Keeps Her From Leaving the
Firm
Janice: I
should be recovered from the surgery enough to go back
to the law firm in late February. I'm going back on a
reduced schedule, three days a
week.
Cameron: How does it feel to imagine
yourself walking back in there?
Janice:
Anxious. I feel anxious. Also a little relieved, to be
back in the routine.
Cameron: You mean the
routine that might possibly have given you the condition
you just had surgery on?
Janice (laughs):
Yeah. I am a little anxious.
Cameron: The reduced schedule will reduce
the stressors that put you in the hospital, by about
two-fifths, but it won't change whatever your body may
have been telling you something about how good, or not,
the fit was for you. Remember what we were saying
earlier about your illness may have been inner conflict
writ upon your body?
Janice: I do believe
that. I think we can get illnesses from our
situations. But I think my whole family has this thing,
where we do really well, like my brother being a very
successful cardiologist, but we just aren't able to
enjoy ourselves. We're not in the present,
really.
Cameron: When we're not in the
present what we often feel more than anything else is
fear. Fear that the past will repeat itself, worry about
the future.
Janice: I know it. I really
think that if my family lived closer to me in D.C., or
if I had more really close friends there, it wouldn't be
so bad. I know when I go back to the firm I'm really
going to miss my mom.
Cameron: Have you
ever thought about working in a firm in your
hometown?
Janice: That's the weirdest
thing. I have, but I don't know what this block is that
keeps me from looking into it
seriously.
Cameron: Well, you're in a big
white-shoe D.C. firm. You've been there, what?, eleven,
twelve years. You made partner. You probably feel people
rely on you, you feel loyalty. Let me ask you a
question. I'm not sure where this is coming from but
I've just had an idea.
Janice: Oh
goodie.
Cameron (laughs): Let's say that a
few months after you got back to the firm the managing
partner comes into your office and says, "Janice, the
firm has just Brobecked. It's imploded. We're out of
business, the partners are going their own ways, you can
have your computer and all the books and supplies in
your office. Some of us are going to New York, some have
already hooked up with Hogan & Hartson, but the rest
are free as birds." What would you do
then?
Janice (long silence): That's a
really interesting question. What made you ask
that?
Cameron: I dunno. A hunch.
Janice: Now I have to go back to how I
felt when you first said it. I'm just going to say it
before my brain kicks in and changes anything. I thought
-- I thought that if that happened, I would go back to
Louisville and work there. Oh my God. I have to think
about that.
Cameron: And think about what
the difference would be. Why did I kill your
firm?
Janice: What you said a while ago --
I really feel so much loyalty.
Cameron: And if the firm is gone?
Janice: No one would have any expectations.
Cameron: And if no one had expectations, what
would it be impossible for you to do?
Janice: Feel I'd let them down.
Yeah. I feel like if I left they'd think I'd just
been leeching off them . . .
Cameron:
Janice, you've spent twelve years at a giant corporate
law firm that spits out associates! You've worked your
way up to partner. And I can tell you that your
law school classmates have been in three to eight jobs
since then. Can you think about why you'd look at
yourself as leeching off them -- betraying them or
letting them down? Doesn't that strike you as a really
interesting statement?
Janice: I'm going to
have to go back and feel that feeling again, when you
first asked the question. You've really got me
thinking.
Cameron: Let's talk again after
your retreat. And before you go back to the firm. Pay
attention to the thoughts and feelings you have in the
next week, okay? Don't judge or rationalize, just
observe and take note.
Janice: I'm really
interested to see how this is going to develop.
Can you give me the name of that book you mentioned, and
your friend who runs the institute? . . .
Go to to the third of the recent breakthrough
coaching conversations, Bill Can't Get
Motivated to Meet His Goal -- Studying for his
Ph.D.
If you're a lawyer and can identify with any of this,
read more about
attorney coaching.
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