How Coaching Works
Before we started coaching I was afraid of failing, so I’d stopped trying, which also meant I stopped learning. I got poor grades in high school and I guess I associated myself as just an unintelligent person. I felt trapped at my company because I didn’t think I could ever leave. I thought it would just go on forever.
People would often have good opinions of me, but I didn’t believe I was as good as other people did. My company has sometimes asked me if I wanted to be a manager or supervisor and I always told them, “No, I’m not manager material.” I thought I wasn’t smart enough. I never would have thought of trying.
Before I took the computer class you suggested that I take to get some new skills, I thought I just couldn’t learn. I thought it would be the same as high school, the same old patterns would be repeated. Before our first session I was in tears trying to send you an attachment by email, because I didn’t know how to work the computer. I was actually sobbing. Afraid of what you’d think, even though I didn’t know you.
That’s driven me for many years, but I think I can say that’s not going to happen anymore.
Then we started the snowball effect, the momentum of little victories you use in your coaching. It seemed like a small list each week, four to six action items, but it began to snowball. I was looking into going back to school, and searching job descriptions online, and getting fit every night with my little girl by my side, and delegating some of the child care to my husband, and signing up for a computer course, and much more. I was looking good! My thighs were awesome! I was reading more and watching less TV! You were also helpful in helping me to see new strategies to make things happen.
Now I’m no longer afraid to fail. I know I can just try again. I’m kind of a whole person now. It’s very freeing to like yourself. It’s huge! My husband can see the new person too. He was scared at first, especially when he saw how fit I was getting and how great I looked in my old clothes, but then he realized that I was happier and I was getting stuff done.
I’ve realized I can learn anything I want to learn. I know now that I’m capable of learning other things. Bigger things. I’ve learned new ways of thinking, like how to research information in new ways, such as for jobs. I’m not even as miserable and mopey at work. I was discouraged and bitter before, because it seemed like it would go on forever.
I couldn’t have imagined that after some informational interviews with people in my dream company, Macy’s, I’d get invited to a picnic and actually impress them enough they’d offer me a job!
I guess the main difference is that I now see what’s possible rather than what to be afraid of. I think of the time I could get so upset at myself about not being able to send you that attachment, and now I can just laugh, but gently.
Return to the first of the recent breakthrough coaching conversations, Beth Gives Herself Permission to Reconsider Old Loves
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