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I'm setting out here, from memory and email, brief
moments from some breakthrough coaching encounters that
happened recently (2005). The
conversations with Beth and Janice had to
do with life and career issues (for most clients,
they're one and the same).
Bill's is a
typical case of a client who has a clear goal and simply
cannot move himself to reach for it.
Rita
wanted coaching on an internet business she thought she
wanted to start. All conversations occurred in the
first week of coaching, and all represented
turning points of sorts, after which the clients began
to look at things in totally new ways. It was exciting
to be there! (Names and some locations have been
changed to protect the victorious).
Beth
Gives Herself Permission to Reconsider Old Loves
Janice Tries on a
Thought Experiment to Identify What Keeps Her From
Leaving the Firm
Bill Can't Get
Motivated to Meet His Goal -- Studying for his
Ph.D.
Rita Gets Help Very
Different From What She Expected
Karen's Story of
Gaining the Self-Esteem to Learn New Things and Plan Her
Future
Coaching with
Intuition
Afterword - Applause
for Clients
Beth Gives Herself Permission to
Reconsider Old Loves
Beth: I have been doing some thinking about
what you had said [in our last call]. Somewhere in it
all I think I came up with the choice of whether or
not I should give myself permission to look at things I
really enjoy again.
Cameron:
Great. Why do you suppose that
happened?
Beth: Last week you said you'd
read through all the materials I sent you about my
skills and my personality and aptitude assessments, and
then you said you were more interested to know what I
loved to do -- what I'd always loved to do, no matter
how long ago or how trivial. And when I said the one job
I'd truly enjoyed was being a camp counselor, I
actually felt myself waiting, almost holding my breath,
for you to laugh or tell me that was silly. And you
didn't. You took that as seriously as if I'd said I
wanted to get an MBA.
Cameron: More so, I
think.
Beth: (Laughs).
* *
*
Excerpt of mail from Beth the next day:
. . . "I struggle to find my true calling - At times I
think it is in marketing, other times, I think I try to
avoid true passions because I do not believe they will
be lucrative or at the very least, enough to support
myself, or give me the lifestyle I want. I have gone
through two career counselors. If I were to outline
what I really enjoy doing it really does evolve
around me of service to others, BUT there is a catch. I
cannot operate as well in this mode if people 'expect'
it of me . . . "
Email from
Cameron: "Wow, this looks like some great
thinking going on! There is one thing that I’d be
curious to know, if I were you, and that is
why, exactly, the notion of an expectation ruins any
giving or service for you. I won’t get into any
psychoanalysis because it’s not my function or
inclination here, but I merely note that if you could
better understand this – bring it out into the open –
you might simultaneously open up even more options for
yourself. This is consistent with my coaching philosophy
about self-awareness leading to
authenticity."
Excerpt of mail from Beth
the next day, enclosing product of several hours'
worth of journaling while mulling over the
question: "Why do I need to dictate who gets
my services and/or charity? 1) Taken advantage of in the
past [by] a lot of people who knew better [and] did it
anyway – hurtful. . . Helping others that I want [to
help] brings a sense of closure to the chapter of being
taken advantage of.. it is natural for me to be this way
and I also enjoy the act of kindness, innovation or
service that I offer. I enjoy recognition, this is part
of the internal reward." [She goes on to list her new
criteria for what she wants out of a career and life,
and several types of careers that would fit her new
criteria].
Beth, on the next phone call a few
days later: I'm so excited to tell you about
all these revelations I've been having! Do you
mind?
Cameron: Not at all!
Beth: I'm really thinking about some things for
the first time. I remember what you were saying, too,
about clinging to status and prestige, including in the
form of money or conventional jobs that we think impress
people. I just don't think marketing is for me. I'm not
a conformist, and you're right that it wouldn't be the
creative outlet I thought it would be for me. Those
marketing people you put me in touch with loved their
jobs but they were incredibly helpful in disabusing me
of some ideas. So I've got a few new careers I'm going
to try out on you. Are you ready?
Cameron:
Let's go.
Go to to the second of the recent breakthrough
coaching conversations, Janice Tries on a
Thought Experiment to Identify What Keeps Her From
Leaving the Firm
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