Whether you are looking for a mate or you are in a relationship that may need some refinement to thrive, spending quality time focused solely on you, and taking a holistic approach to your life makes all the difference!

For those seeking to find that special someone, or to enhance a current, committed relationship, it is so important to enhance communication, understanding and intimacy. However, if you are stuck in anger, resentment, past hurts and the like, this may not be such an easy task.

You may have noticed that you always attract the same type of person. They seem a “perfect match” at first but then the same old patterns plague your relationship and you end up feeling disillusioned, disappointed and needing to leave for the presumed “greener pastures.”

What is a “holistic approach”? It is life coaching in which we are not just focused on one aspect of you, but on all of you (mind, body, emotions, spirit and practical life management). There are fantastic mind-body tools to really make a difference in eliminating internal challenges that may be keeping you stuck in repetitive negative patterns.

Some of these tools include neuro-linguistic programming and the emotional freedom technique, Silva Mind Control, guided visualization, and self-hypnosis. Together with focused life coaching and self-compassion, you more quickly free yourself of past resentments, and the emotional baggage which often plagues many relationships.

Many people are searching for that perfect match and they believe that once they find him or her, all of a sudden life will be all better (i.e., happily ever after).

Most people inherently realize this isn’t possible and that “happily ever after” is from fairy tales. But it seems that wishful thinking and hoping it is true never really leaves any of us.

The truth is that finding and keeping successful relationships is much more about BE-ing the “right” person yourself. From that state of being your best you, you become far more attractive to those people you would most want in your life. You will find you are attracting a different type of person – one who is better able to appreciate who you are because you are better appreciating yourself!

Concentrate on developing the inner you – your BE-ingness. When you flourish on the inside, with or without a mate you become much more attractive. In a way you are creating a magnetic energetic field of attraction of those people and opportunities you want to bring into your life. When your focus is turned inward to improving who you are, those whom you want to attract will find their way to you much more easily and readily.

The first goal in life coaching is to create a life you love – to live your life’s purpose, values, and to find real meaning, confidence and joy. If you are to be a good partner to your mate or to attract a partner then taking an inward focus and spending time really getting to know, love and appreciate yourself – to release the past, forgive yourself and others and to truly “come home” to yourself.

A gardener weeds and fertilizes nurtures and tends to his or her garden with love, patience and caring. Even the loveliest of gardens have weeds popping up and require maintenance. A good and intuitive gardener pays close attention – notices changes and potential problems and is pro-active in prevention.

Gardening is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. A relationship – a good relationship with you – requires the same kind of ongoing “gardening”.

In many instances communication, or miscommunication and unrealistic expectations are 90% of the problem in relationships. Much of this miscommunication and these unrealistic expectations come from depending on your partner to fill all your needs and to make you happy. This puts an overwhelming strain (albeit unexpressed, but felt anyway) on your partner and the relationship.

In life coaching you will really “come home” to yourself. You will learn what really makes your life flow and fulfill your own personal needs so that when you do meet a special someone, or if you are in a committed relationship, you are a far better partner. You stop expecting the unreasonable. You begin taking responsibility for your own happiness and in co-creating joy with your partner, or potential life mate.

Some people consider life coaching a luxury. Truly life coaching is an incredible gift you can give yourself such that you create a life you love – a happier, more fulfilled you! After all, the best relationship is the one you have with yourself. If that isn’t good it is awfully difficult for a relationship with a partner to remain and thrive.

Read what some of my clients have to say about life coach Dr. Christina Winsey, Life and Relationship Coach

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