We are likely to meet people with many different agendas
and goals while dating. A very effective way to navigate
the confusion can be through relationship advice
coaching. The ambiguity of dating is understandably
stressful and challenging, as we have to continually
reorient ourselves to each new companion’s needs and
intentions. Sorting out how soon to get close to a new
date is a crucial aspect of keeping the dating
experience somewhat fun!
You have to feel confident in your own judgment, in
order to relax and really sense whether you enjoy the
other person’s company enough to continue dating. There
are, thankfully, known patterns that people with poor
personal boundaries will engage in, and knowing those
patterns can be very useful in affirming your own dating
Signs that your date may have a problem with boundaries
● Tells all; talks at an intimate level at first meeting
● Falls “in love” after only a few meetings
● Talks at length or harshly about previous partners
● Believes others should anticipate and fulfill his or
● Falls apart so someone will take care of him or her
● Refers to future events or experiences you may share,
with no indication of actual intention to carry out a
● Allows others to take advantage, or expects to take
advantage of you
There’s more advice to take with you into the world of
dating. Useful questions if you feel unsure of your own
actions and attitude include:
● Is this dating relationship in my own best interest?
● Whose needs are being served?
● Are we getting to know each other at a comfortable pace?
● Should I consult with a trusted friend? Am I willing to
hear honest feedback?
● Am I spending time and energy trying to make sense of
this person’s actions?
● Is this person keeping agreements we make?
● Does the other person seem to want a reciprocal
Compelling and passionate beginnings are not necessarily
a predictor of future romantic compatibility. For field
research on this principle, check the covers of
supermarket magazines anytime! Who got married a year
ago, in a blaze of glory? Are they still together?
Satisfying and healthy relationships are more likely to
start gradually. You can contribute to the slow and
steady building of a dating relationship by reminding
yourself that if the relationship is going to last, you
have all the time in the world.
Other Articles by Kate McNulty
Relationship Counseling -- Using Conflict to Build
Personal Coach for a Woman -- Appreciation of the Body in
from a Portland Oregon Career Coach
Leadership Executive Coaching
Coach on Getting Rid of Fear of Risk
Life Skills Coach on
Life Change Coaching
- Goal-Setting Part II