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Relationship Advice Coaching on Boundaries & Dating


Developing Good Instincts

by Kate McNulty, Relationship Coach


We are likely to meet people with many different agendas and goals while dating.  A very effective way to navigate the confusion can be through relationship advice coaching.  The ambiguity of dating is understandably stressful and challenging, as we have to continually reorient ourselves to each new companion’s needs and intentions. Sorting out how soon to get close to a new date is a crucial aspect of keeping the dating experience somewhat fun!

You have to feel confident in your own judgment, in order to relax and really sense whether you enjoy the other person’s company enough to continue dating.  There are, thankfully, known patterns that people with poor personal boundaries will engage in, and knowing those patterns can be very useful in affirming your own dating instincts.

Signs that your date may have a problem with boundaries include:relationship advice coach

Tells all; talks at an intimate level at first meeting
Falls “in love” after only a few meetings
Talks at length or harshly about previous partners
Believes others should anticipate and fulfill his or her needs
Falls apart so someone will take care of him or her
Refers to future events or experiences you may share, with no indication of actual intention to carry out a plan
Allows others to take advantage, or expects to take advantage of you

There’s more advice to take with you into the world of dating.  Useful questions if you feel unsure of your own actions and attitude include:Free Coaching Consultation

Is this dating relationship in my own best interest?
Whose needs are being served?
Are we getting to know each other at a comfortable pace?
Should I consult with a trusted friend? Am I willing to hear honest feedback?
Am I spending time and energy trying to make sense of this person’s actions?
Is this person keeping agreements we make?
Does the other person seem to want a reciprocal relationship?

Compelling and passionate beginnings are not necessarily a predictor of future romantic compatibility.  For field research on this principle, check the covers of supermarket magazines anytime! Who got married a year ago, in a blaze of glory?  Are they still together?

Satisfying and healthy relationships are more likely to start gradually.  You can contribute to the slow and steady building of a dating relationship by reminding yourself that if the relationship is going to last, you have all the time in the world.


Other Articles by Kate McNulty


Relationship Counseling -- Using Conflict to Build Closer Relationships

Personal Coach for a Woman -- Appreciation of the Body in Everyday Life

Notes from a Portland Oregon Career Coach

Leadership Executive Coaching

Business Entrepreneur Coaching

Presentation Coaching

Personal Growth Coach on Getting Rid of Fear of Risk

Life Skills Coach on Goal-Setting

Life Change Coaching - Goal-Setting Part II



Relationship advice coaching Feroce Coaching 2004-05